


Heads Will Roll

by Weliany



Series: The Chronicles of One Abernathy Carter [3]
Category: Loki - Fandom, Marvel (Comics), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Punisher (TV 2017)
Genre: Angst and Fluff and Smut, Bonding, Denial of Feelings, F/M, Getting to Know Each Other, Loki (Marvel) Feels, Road Trip, Trust Issues
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-19
Updated: 2021-01-14
Packaged: 2021-03-08 21:09:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 17,924
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27103243
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Weliany/pseuds/Weliany
Summary: This is the story of two people on a fool's errand.After two years chasing him, Abby must now travel with Loki who has offered her his help.In order to reach their destination and prevail, they must learn and admit a few things along the way.
Relationships: Loki (Marvel)/Original Female Character(s)
Series: The Chronicles of One Abernathy Carter [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1811533
Kudos: 10





	1. What Do You Think ?

**Author's Note:**

> This follows the events of [Unravelled](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23583286/chapters/56584807) so if you haven't read it yet things may be a little confusing at first. 
> 
> However all the works in The Chronicles of One Abernathy Carter can be read independently.
> 
> The first chapters of Heads Will roll are - dare I say - light and fun, but the closer they'll get to the destination, the grimmer it will be.
> 
> That being say, I hope you enjoy this ride.
> 
> -W

They had been on the road for about ten minutes and Abby was already trapped into her own mind, revisiting moments that belonged to the past. She heard the echoes of Coulson’s concerns, and saw Billy Russo’s sadistic smile when he had Loki under his boot in that warehouse, where she had flirted with death. 

Again. 

She had sunk into the familiar slumber where warmth and coldness meet, where the waves of time rolled over her and she could see it all. The past, the present and the shattered dreams. 

In this place of absence Loki’s voice was like a pulse, anchoring her so she would not drift to oblivion. She had no intention of crossing over. The chemicals in her veins kept her alive long enough so her body would start to heal. But process was slower that it used to be. Slower and infinitely more painful. Despite the agony to come, she did not want to waste another pill. She had to watch over Loki who was delirious with a fever until the cavalry arrived. 

“Promise me you won’t leave me.” he had said to her, so pale and frail he looked like chipped porcelain. 

How odd it had been to be by his side when he was not really around. Loki had drifted in and out of consciousness for hours, speaking in tongues she had never heard before and whispering names in his sleep. 

Next to her in the car, Loki was silent, swimming in the pool of his own thoughts. If Abby had an eye on the past, Loki was considering the future. 

He had no problem with improvisation and the plan they came up with left room enough for some spur-of-the-moment thinking. But also he was dreadfully aware that any rash decision – something Ms Carter was gifted at – could put her life in jeopardy. 

As he had come to understand the day before, in the warehouse, a world without her would be quite dull and he was ready to do anything to prevent her untimely death. 

The more she relived the past the less she was eager to enter the future. Abby’s dry tongue was swollen in her mouth. A cold sweat damped her forehead. She rolled the muscles of her back to get rid of the knots between her shoulder blades. She ran a hand on the back of her stiff neck, noticing an increase in her heart rate. 

To distract herself, Abby turned the radio on only to shut it off with a slap since all the stations seemed to have taken a synched commercial break. 

“What?” she aggressively asked as she caught Loki staring at her. 

“I didn’t say anything.” he answered, with his brows high on his forehead. 

“No but you’re looking at me with your...your _eyes_.” 

“Yes, how odd it is that I look at people with my eyes. Would you rather have me look at you with my nose?” 

“I’d rather have you not look at me at all.” 

“Oh come now, I won't go against my principles. As an aesthete I can't turn my eyes away from great beauty.” 

Abby rolled her eyes but blushed nonetheless and Loki noticed. He was about to say something else to make her cheeks go even redder when her phone rang. The ringtone echoed in the car and at first, she made no movement to answer the call. She just kept on watching the road, while her grasp around the wheel so tight it gave the impression that the round of her knuckles would soon break her skin. 

“Do you need me to...” 

“No!” She snapped at him, eyes darting daggers but immediately took the call.

Loki perceived a slight tremor in her tone that revealed how nervous she truly was. 

“Hi! How are ya doing kid? Just checkin' if everything’s good on your side.” said a voice who belonged to a middle-age man who might have smoked since he was twelve. She ran a hand through her hair, revealing how gaunt her features were. 

“Yeah. You can tell him I’m on my way. I’ll be there in five maybe six hours tops.” 

“Sure thing. Drive safe, kid.” 

The man hung up. 

A heavy curtain of silence fell in the car. 

There was no turning back and Abby knew this. She had known this from the start, refusing to stop and think for one second because she was too scared to finally give Death her final kiss. 

But in her course, regrets and concerns had begun to rise. And the more she chased Loki, the less she was willing to trade his life for hers. 

She would have been fine in the purgatory of her own making, chasing Loki around the globe and always promising her boss she was 'this close' of getting the god of mischief she had been sent to retrieve. She would not have been living per se but she would not be dead either. She could have been fine walking the thin line between life and death endlessly until she figured another way out. A way that did not involve Loki's life.

But there was no other way out. She had to involve Loki and even after all the trouble she had given him, he offered his help willingly, showing her that there _was_ after all another alternative. 

However this still felt all kinds of wrong.

After the call the silence in the car grew to be palpable and sickening to Loki. 

“Are you all right?” he asked after much consideration. “You seem a bit…” 

“A bit what?” she asked in turn, her voice sharp and cold.

Loki knew a slippery slop when he saw one but did that stop him? Absolutely not. 

“On edge, my dear. You seem a bit on edge.” he stated.

“Piss off!”

He should have weighing the pros and cons before speaking his mind but he was not used to having discussions with Ms Carter. So far his interactions with Ms Carter had been more of a constant provocation sprinkled with tease and witty banter.  
The first time he talked with her, really talk with her, happened only a few hours ago and come to think about it, Loki had begun to wonder if it was not just a dream he had.

“That’ll teach to care.” Loki muttered, pouting like a child as he folded his arms across his chest and shifted on his seat.

Abby cackled like an old witch who just heard the most ridiculous thing but when she glanced at him and saw the frown creasing his forehead and the dark veil that clouded his otherwise sparkling eyes, she thought that perhaps Loki was not joking.

“Yeah, well, I’m...bored.” she said, quickly focusing on the road again when she sensed he was about to turn his head.

“You remind me so much of my brother right now.” Loki chuckled, all remnant of hurt feeling and bruised ego gone. “He could not handle a minute of silence without being – in his own words – tormented by boredom.”

And because of that Loki had crafted the art to tell stories from a very young age until he became the silver tongued prince of Asgard. Growing up, he found that there was not a single living soul that would not be willing to listen to a compelling story, granted that it was the right one. He also learned that a good tale can serve more than one purpose.

He begun his narration with a pompous and dramatic, “Once upon a time, in the golden realm of Asgard…” 

“What are you doing?” 

“Why, knitting. Isn’t it obvious?” 

She gave him a long stare before setting her eyes on the road again and Loki sighed at the death of his attempted joke.

“I was planing on telling you story since you are bored. But if you'd like I can serenade you."

"Ugh! Please don't. A story is fine."

"Right. Now, as I said before you rudely interrupted: once upon a time in the golden realm of Asgard…”

Abby listened to Loki’s tale, picturing the palace and the luxurious gardens around it that ran to the edge of the realm and met the never ending falls of Asgard. Whatever Loki described she could see and hear and taste and smell. 

This was not the first she heard of Loki's tales but she was still in awe of his storytelling. So much that she wondered if he was not using a little of magic to make his words more compelling and lifelike.

Loki was able to engage a crowd, keeping everyone on their toes and then, once the story would reach its natural end, the crowd would beg for more.   
In the stories Abby heard before, Loki would always be the sly hero that prevails his enemies using a blade or a trick; sometimes both. He would also be the prince with flair that could seduce anyone with his looks and wits. Those tails were told in such a way that it was impossible not to find him anything other than dazzling. 

But the story Loki was telling Abby at the moment was unlike any other he told before. Though he spoke highly of himself – how could he not – Loki admitted that he was a boy with a tender heart and a vivid imagination; a sorcerer’s apprentice with unrefined skills and an eagerness to prove his mother she was right to pass on her knowledge to him. 

Loki's smile cast a light that warmed Abby's heart when he laughed at his own foolishness, his face enlightened throughout the whole time he told the story of how he once shape-shifted into a crow to gain the trust of his father’s birds; hoping he would be able to connect with them and unlock all of their secrets, only to find himself unable to change back into his usual form.

Abby swallowed a chuckle and said, “So your father fed you like a bird for two _whole_ days?” 

She sounded both unbelieving and impressed, giving Loki the confidence to confess with a shiver that the All-Father petted him too like one of his birds until the young Loki managed to become himself again.

The laughter Abby had repressed out of politeness, exploded and roared in the car. She almost banged her head against the wheel, mocking Loki until she got the hiccups. 

The light in her eyes shone bright and when they looked at each other she was simply beaming. In that moment Loki felt like the luckiest being in all the nine realms. 

“I didn’t even know you could do that.” she wheezed, wiping the tears of laughter away from her eyes with the edge of her hand.

“There is a great deal you don’t know about me, love.” 

And there was a lot he did not know about her as well. 

“Oh yeah? Like what?” she asked, a pert smile that reached her eyes and made Loki's heart flutter.

Loki wanted to meet the real Ms Carter but he did not expect her to reveal her true self that easy. No. He would have to gain her trust, to make her feel at ease, and a good way to achieve that was to reveal himself first.

He had spent so much time hiding underneath the layers of stories he had told himself and the people he loved the most, that now he could not help but feel a little bit of regret and uncertainty as who he truly was. 

But since there was no telling how much time he would get to spend with he, it was up to him to make the best out of it.

“You’ll have to find out for yourself.” Loki winked at her, rubbing the back of his head against the headrest and settled more comfortably in his seat for he knew she would take the bait.

She felt his eyes gazing at her. The inside of her hands tingled.

“I'm sure I know a great deal about you already.” Abby said, in the mood for bantering. “You may look like the regular ‘tall and dark stranger’ but you’re not that much of a mystery.”

“Please, tell me what you _think_ you know.”

“OK. Well, obviously your favourite colour is green though you don't mind a little blue every once in a while.”

“So far I am not impressed.” Loki said with an arched eyebrow.

“I’m not done. OK, so you’re smart, like book-smart but also street smart meaning you can literally get away with murder."

Loki chuckled, nodding his head.

"You are not a strong fighter like your brother is but you manage just fine.” Abby went on.

“Oh my! Dear, is that a compliment?”

“Pfff. Sure. Yeah.” she scoffed with a sly smile. “OK, let’s see what else...Ah, yes. You are ambitious and ready to go to great lengths to get rid of what stands in your way but, in the same time, you’re reluctant to do what's necessary to get what _you_ want and that tells me that you don’t really know what it is that you do want."

“I beg your pardon?” Loki asked, taking full offence with her analysis.

“You’ve tried to killed your brother multiple times, yes?”

She paused for Loki to answer her but all came out of his mouth was a muffled agreement.

“Then why is he still breathing?”

Silence hung in the air, giving Abby plenty of time to enjoy her little victory. Loki took a sharp breathe, exhaling with a light chuckle.

“I also believe this is why you never use the full extent of your powers. But maybe it’s just a tactic so you can remain unpredictable. If your enemies don’t know what you’re really capable of then...they’ll underestimate you; which allows you to get by doing the bare minimum. But I can be wrong. I’m not quite set on you yet.”

Ms Carter’s observations unsettled him to the point where Loki sunk into silent consideration. He had been awfully wrong in the past about what he thought he wanted. The fact that Thor was still alive and kicking proved that. He never wanted him dead, nor did he want to be crowned King of Asgard. No. Those had been wrong turns in his path. Mirages of what lied in his heart but could not see.

“I didn't mean to offend you.” 

Loki snapped back to the present, hearing an underlying concern in Ms Carter’s voice.

“Oh, you did not. It takes a lot more than that to offend me, love.”

He caught her smirking to herself, her cheeks turned pink. She pushed the locks of her brown hair behind her ear. Loki followed the slow and aerial movement of her hand, wishing it were his fingers instead of hers that go round her earlobe and gently down her jaw, until they brushed the lines of her neck.

“Tell me another story.” she said, putting his daydreaming to an abrupt stop.

Loki mumbled out of his embarrassment, ignoring the butterflies in his stomach and began to tell a new story.

As much as Abby loved hearing him talk, she could not help but interrupt with a gasp or a chortle when it was not with a flood of questions.

At first she had taken Loki's tales as just that: tales. But the more he told her about Asgard and the life he had before settling on Earth – or Midgard as he would call it – the more Loki revealed himself. It was not so much about what was inthe stories he chose to tell but more about how he told them now that they were alone with one another.

Loki was fine with her interruptions and inquiries at first but her growing interest in Thor begun to bug him.   
It made sense after all that she would want to know more about Loki's brother whom he talked about more than he intended to. To be honest, despite his many solo adventures, there were so much stories he could tell without involving Thor.

Loki was telling Ms Carter about a time where Thor got a serious case of the flu and brought Asgard to brink of destruction.

“So cool. What happens when _you_ get sick?” she asked, her eyes shining with wonder.

He could have lied and tell her that when he coughed the earth tremble and when he sneezed an icy wind covered the land, but Loki settled for honesty.  
The disappointment on her face when he told her that nothing usually happen except for a flash recovery, was plain to see and for a second Loki resented Thor for being more interesting than he, mightier in every way and thus more popular.

Loki hated going down the road that was paved with centuries of destructive thinking. But sometimes, when he was unable to stop feeding his own insecurities by comparing himself to his brother, Loki wondered what it would take for him to have his heart and mind settled, unafraid of Thor’s bigger than life persona. 

Frigga did her best to teach Thor and Loki not to compete against one another as they were not cut from the same cloth. Their own flaws and skills should complement each other and not drive them apart, but there was so much she could do with Odin who loomed over their sons and created an environment conductive to rivalry between the two brothers.

Even to this days, they - an especially Loki - were still paying for their father’s errors. 

He shot a glance toward the shape of Ms Carter, not allowing his eyes to fully rest on her as she drove toward the horizon. _She’ll fit right in_ , Loki thought with a bittersweetness that overshadowed the warmth he experienced when he pictured coming home to New Asgard with her by his side.

It was a recent dream of his though quite recurrent, but the more he dwelled on it, the more he wanted it to happen even though he liked having his own secret garden. And so far, Abernathy Carter had belonged there. He wondered what would happen when she will step out of that garden to meet the others. 

“I wish I could go there.” Abby sighed. “The realms you mentioned...I'd go in a heartbeat.”

She shook her head and chew the inside of her cheek, wishing she could take her words back. Her own fate was not in her hands yet so dreaming too much ahead was a bit presumptuous, even for her.

“I’m sure we can arrange that once this is all over.” Loki said with a light and steady tone that made it sound like a full promise, genuine and serious, something worth to hold on to. 

“I'd like that.” Abby said, afraid he might change his mind.

Loki toyed with his fingers and kept his eyes on the moving landscape. 

The rest of him was seemingly still, like a statue with chiselled features and an ethereal grace until he rubbed the back of his neck and scratched his throat. A moment passed before he said, with a simple nod, “All right.”

She caught him with that unmistakable expression of someone trying to look unaffected but his grin betrayed him.

“I’ll put it on the list then.”

“A list uh?” Loki asked.

“Yeah, you know like ideas I have for things I'd like to do when I get the chance.”

Loki leaned on his left side, completely turned towards Abby.

"Really? What else do you have on that list?"

“What? No, I'm not telling you.”

“Why not?”

Abby let her mouth hang open before closing in with a pout.

“It’s just...It’s private and all. I usually don’t talk about it to just anyone.”

“Why, dear I’m not just _any_ one now am I? I swear to you the content of your list is safe with me. Cross my heart.” he said with one hand in the middle of his chest and the other in the air.

She was not sure where she stood on the whole Loki being on her side just yet. There was the undisputable fact that she needed to trust him if they were to succeed but was she willing to reveal some of the most intimate parts of herself to him? Nothing was less certain.

“Gas station!” she said all of a sudden, practically screaming it.

“A gas station is on your list?”

“Uh? No, there’s one right here. I’m starving.” she said, stressing the last word.

Spotting the gas station gave her all the distraction she needed to avoid answering Loki about the list. If she played her cards well, she will be able to muddy the waters and Loki would be known the wiser.

Abby had barely pulled over that her stomach grumbled and her mouth watered at the thought of salty snacks. _Oh well, I_ am _starving_.

Loki followed her inside the convenience store, appalled by the flashy colours on the bags she grabbed without even looking at them. She put everything her fingers touched into a basket that hung heavy on her arm.

“Are you really going to eat _all_ that?” he asked with a grimace of disdain.

“There’s some for you too.” she answered, rummaging through her loot.

She extracted a red rectangle and tossed it to Loki. He examined the package that showed lines of rainbow licorice and indicated the tastes of each colour.

“I thought you said you were starving. This can’t possibly be _food_.” Loki said but saw she was leaving without listening to him. 

He caught up to her in a few strides but she as still ignoring him. So, through spite, or because he did not want to enter a fight he was sure to lose, Loki put the rainbow licorice back in the basket. 

“You’ll kill your tastebuds with that.”

“Be as it may. I don’t want food. I want _this_.” she said lifting the basket to his eye level and pushed it in his arms. “Now, onwards! To the beverages.”

She marched there then stopped abruptly to carefully study the rows of soft drinks displayed in front of her. One hand was on her hip and the right under her lower lip. 

“Bubbles or no bubbles? Such is the question. What do you want?”

“To leave.” Loki answered right away.

She sighed and looked at him from above her shoulder, insisting that they needed to get some fluids with all that snacks. 

"Look, there's some water here."

“Take that back _right now_!” she ordered with a frown. “You don’t drink water on a road trip, you heathen! Water. Pff. Why not baby carrots and almonds while we’re at it.” she added with great outrage.

Draped in all of her dignity, Abby showed her back to Loki and chose one bottle of red soda for herself and a green one for Loki solely based on the fact that it was his favourite colour and that he should at least appreciate that. 

Loki insisted that they should find ‘proper food’ but Abby ignored his plea and pushed the basket full of snacks as well as the bottles in Loki's arms.

“I need to go to the loo. Meet me in the car, will you? Great.” she instructed him.

“And what about that?” Loki asked, nudging at the groceries with his chin. “I’m not stealing any of this garbage. It’s beneath me.”

“Here’s a wild idea, pretty boy. I don’t know if you’re familiar with this concept or if this is completely new territory for you; though I’d like to think you’ve done this a couple of times before, but – erm – maybe you could, uh...pay for it?” 

She looked at him with a smug smile stretching her lips that made her annoyingly cute.

“Oh do you expect me to conjure some of your currency, is that it?”

“Can you do that?” she asked with great interest.

"What do you think?”

“Hm.”

Abby studied the sorcerer in front of her and wondered if there was any limits other than his will to his powers.

“That won’t be necessary.” she finally said and slid her hand to the back pocket of her pair of jeans to retrieve a wad of notes. “I got - erm - some money from Coulson.”

“Did he give it to you or...” 

"What do you think?" she smirked.

Loki approached the car on the parking lot, with a steady pace even though he was perfectly aware that what he had done would not fly with the tempestuous Ms Carter. However, Loki stood by his decision and entered the car with an air of innocence. 

He barely had time to sit that Ms Carter practically jumped on him and snatched the bag away from his bonny hands. She extracted the large bag of crips, opened it and put a handful of crips in her mouth. She peeked inside the brown bag as she took the bottle of red soda out. 

Her face crumpled and Loki braced himself for impact.

“What the _hell_ is this?”

“I believe it’s called an apple.” 

“Don’t be cute with me. Where’s the puffy cheesy thingy I put in the basket?”

“Back on the shelves of that godawful establishment. Though I had a mind to put it all in the trash.”

She mouthed an outraged “what?” before emptying the content of the bag on Loki's lap. Breath caught, nausea slapping her, Abby stared at the unholy trinity of road trip food: baby carrots, organic almonds and a bottle of water.

"How could you…" she exhaled slow and painfully.

The look on her face was priceless and Loki felt the burst of a laugh coming. He repressed it, bitting his lips, giving himself enough composure to say: “Oh there. I kept the rainbow licorice.”

At that, Ms Carter exploded and threw the apple which crashed on Loki’s forehead.

“Ouch! Careful with that.” Loki complained, touching timidly the point of impact with the tip of his fingers. Her profanities made less and less sense as she threw the rest in a swirl of violence. When she was out of things to throw, she fell back in her seat, banging the back of her head against the headrest, panting.

“Now if you’re done with your little tantrum, shall we move on?”

“I hate you.” she growled.

“Right. But at least we are one step further away from food poisoning.”

“Do you want me to kill you? Is that it? Cause I will, I bloody will!”

“Now who’s being cute.” Loki smirked, opening the bottle of water and taking a provoking gulp.

"Give me the change." she ordered, opening and closing her hand.

"Why?"

"There's no chocolate. It's like not eating desert at the end of a meal."

"But this isn't a meal."

Abby moaned and grunted, rolling her eyes in utter annoyance.

"Shan't we go? We've lost enough time as it is don't you think?"

Abby admitted to herself that Loki was right and turned on the engine.

"I hate you."

"Yes. Less hating and more driving, please. We have a schedule."

Abby drove out of the parking lot and got back on the road muttering under her breath, "Holy patience, please give me the strength not to kill him." To sooth herself, she grabbed a handful of crips but when she put the food in her mouth the texture and taste had changed. This was not potato crips that lay on her tongue but carrots.

She spitted it all through the open window and scratched the taste away with her nails. When Loki laughed, she understood what just happened. She glanced at the inside of the bag of crips and saw dozens of baby carrots. 

"Give me back my crips! I mean it Loki. I'll crash the car if I have to!"

He was laughing so hard that tears rolled down from his eyes. But he eventually put his hands in the air and turned the carrots back into potato crips.

"You should have seen your face." he said, catching his breath.

"I ha–"

"Yes, yes. You hate me. But still, your face. Oh, love. I wish I'd taken a photo."

She slapped him repeatedly on the shoulder and upper arm. Loki did his best to avoid her blows but she was relentless. But she kept on beating him, she pulled the car right and left on the road. And right and left. 

A trunk honked.

"Oh shit!" they exclaimed in unison.


	2. Coefficient of Friction

The truck honked vigorously, fast approaching. 

Before Abby could make a move and stir the car back to the right side of the road, Loki sprung his arms around her shoulders. 

He shut his eyes. 

He pictured a square of soft green grass that would cushion their fall and prayed the Norns as well as his mother to protect them during their brief but violent journey between the layers of time and space.

During a split second there was no trace of Loki nor Abby anywhere in the world. 

Their bodies had disappeared from the car, floating like dust in the wind nowhere to be seen. In this moment, all Loki could do was pray and pray and pray. Teleporting himself had become easier though he could not reach far distances yet. And, more time than he would like to admit, he stumbled against the occasional wall. However, despite his many great progress, teleporting with someone else remained a far riskier business. 

Green grass, even grounds, far from road, Loki hoped for in his prayers as he held Ms Carter close to his chest. He wanted to land on his back so she would have the safest landing possible so when he crashed and felt a shake going through each and every vertebra in his spine shake, he knew that he succeeded. 

When the world had ceased to tumble, Abby opened her eyes. 

The first thing she saw was a thorn bush right behind where she and Loki landed. They had been this close to crash in that instead of on the grass. Well in Abby's case it was more about Loki whose body was flat under her. The possibility of them entangled with the thorn twigs of the bush made Abby burst into guffaws. Adrenaline was still coursing her veins and her laugh no matter how contagious it was, felt like the break of her nerves.

Loki joined in on her fit of laughter. 

His face was nestled in the crook of her neck. She was wrapped his arms for he was still holding on to her as if she could be snatched away at any moment.

“Good lord.” she hiccuped.

“You can call me Loki.” he chuckled with a smile growing against her skin and the coolness of his shaky breath birthed a sweetly teasing sensation that ran down her spine.

She moved a little in his tight embrace but not as if she wanted to break free from it.

Waves of umber hair cascaded down, tickling Loki's nose and chin. With utter delicacy, Loki combed it away from her face. As he reached the round of her ear, Loki could not help but stare with an outpouring devotion.

The intensity with which Loki was gazing at Abby did not elude her and, as a reflex perhaps, she cast her eyes up and noticed a twig lodged in Loki's raven hair. She took it out, regaining a bit of air in her lungs since it seemed she had been holding her breathe while caught in his gaze. She wagged the twig in front of him, “Not exactly your style, is it?”

Loki scoffed gently, “Unworthy of the prince that I am, yes.”

She tossed the twig, gathering enough strength to ignore the fact that she was not bothered by his touch nor by the way he would tenderly twist a lock of her hair around his fingers. The most sensible thing to do would have been to properly move and get up, but Abby - for reasons unbeknownst to her - look down again and met with Loki's gaze

It was a classic case of over-stretched seconds when one feels like a minute but also everything happened at a rather fast pace.

They stared at each other, their hearts thumping so much that both feared the other could feel it. With light strokes of his thumb, Loki caressed her cheek while Abby’s fingers curled around the collar of his shirt, brushing the skin underneath. His parted lips let a soft but quivering breathe out.

In unison, they both gave the ghost of a pull, almost inexistent really, but it was enough for them to timidly close the already short distance between them. Loki stretched his neck, reaching for her lips. His chest swelled in anticipation for the kiss when all came to a sudden and implacable stop.

His beloved Ms Carter had turned into a frozen replica of herself. Loki welcomed hungrily her warm breath, craving for more. Though nothing else seemed to be coming. She unlocked her fingers from Loki's crinkled shirt collar. 

“We should go check the car.” she whispered in a rather raspy voice, pulling herself slightly away. The distance between them was still minuscule and could be easily erased but the gesture in itself felt a harsh call back to reality.

Loki scratched his throat. “Yes. We wouldn’t want to be late.” he said, blinking so fast to clear his mind of the desire he had of her that his head begun to spin. And just like that, the moment was gone. 

Abby stood up only to feel a friction in her kneecap.

It was not pain per say but more like an inconvenience that should be dealt with. However, she had little regards concerning the current state of her body for her mind was laser focus on the car Coulson lent her. She wobbled on her legs like a fawn trying to walk for the first time, and with each step she took, she could feel the rasp of her bones.

It’s all right. In five minutes this’ll be just fine, she told herself with more hope than certainty for she was well aware of how slow her own healing process had become. I'm sure the car is fine as well. Maybe a scratch or two. Perhaps a broken window or a blown-up tire. Nothing too dramatic I'm sure

The car was a wreck.

The front of the black SUV was as flattened as a pug’s face and the passenger door was gone. All of the windows were shattered and a tire had managed to go from a perfect round form to the one of a misshaped eight.

A clicking sound was coming from the destroyed engine, which implied nothing good.

Loki eyed the damages while Ms Carter circled around the wreckage, her hands clasped on her mouth. He may not be an expert on Midgardian transportation vehicles but even _he_ knew it was futile to think it would ever work again.

“Can you do something?” Ms Carter asked him, her eyes filled with helpless expectation.

“I’m afraid that you are overestimating my powers, dear. The body I can mend. The mind also if it’s not too damage, but a car? I simply don’t possess the skills.”  
It costed him a great deal of pride to admit it for he did not like being since as incapable, moreover he had promised the woman to help her. No. He had vowed to help her and not being able to handle this one task felt like he was already going back on his words.

However she took in his answer with a solemn nod then turned to stare at the car as if it would magically fixed and ready to go. She was rubbing the pulp of her thumbs against each and every other fingers in apparent random order. It helped her focus and muster a semblance of self control in a dire situation such as this one.

“Can you zap us to our destination?” she asked Loki, her eyes glued to the car as she weighed all of her options.

“Not without killing us both in the process.” 

"Thought so." she said, matter-of-factly.

She passed no judgement, yet Loki felt as if he had let her down once more. Twice within minutes. This could not go on any longer.

The side of the road was eerily silent. Only a few cars were passing by as the sun sunk on the horizon, giving the sky a soft orange glow and rosy clouds. A gentle breeze fooled around with some leaves that twirled in the air without care before they crashed against what was left of the car.

The car…

Abby let her frustration out in a scream, throwing her fist against the bumpy body work of the car.

CRACK!

“What was that?” Loki asked, alert, fast approaching Abby.

“What was what? Nothing.” she answered, already pulling her arm away from his reach.

“Let me see.” Loki demanded.

“There’s nothing to see. I’m fine as wine.”

She was anything but and the lie was plain to see. She felt like melting on the ground in a pool filled with her own tears, not only because of the pain irradiating from her elbow, no. This was just the cherry on top of her pile of shite.

“You broke something, didn’t you.” 

“What? Pff, no!” Abby snorted with a cheeky smirk but when Loki grabbed her arm, she saw red.

She punched him right on the nose, breaking the bridge. The impact jolted her, enhancing the pain she was already enduring.

The blow was enough to knock someone out and it nearly did Loki if it were not for his other worldly constitution. His first instinct was to reciprocate; to inflict to others the pain that had been inflicted on him, especially when it was uncalled for. 

“Oh shit, I’m so sorry.” Abby apologized hurriedly, grabbing Loki by the shoulders. “Let me see.” She pulled at his wrist to make him uncover his face and take a look at the damage done.

He shot her a quick yet fiery glance. But fast enough the brutal will he had within him just a moment ago faded away. 

Abby stared in awe as Loki took his hands off his face, wiping the blood, dripping down his chin. She could have sworn she had broken his nose and yet there it was as before the punch. In perfect condition.

Once upon a time her body used to heal that quick, that efficiently. A broken nose used to be nothing. But now, it took time and a far greater amount of pain, even for the lesser wounds. She was as much impressed with Loki but something more insidious crept within her.

“I am all right. But you’ve injured yourself. I can heal you...if you let me.” Loki suggested as if nothing never happened, gently taking her hands off his shoulders.

“I can heal on my own.” she claimed with pride.

“Then do it.”

“It...It just takes some...time.”

“How long?” Loki asked, with a hint of provocation.

Abby was in no position to satisfy him with an answer for the only thing she was certain of was that she would suffer a great deal without her last pills.

Her whole body was already aching and Abby had no choice but to lean against the car so she would not lose her balance. White circles with grey spots in the middle flashed in front of her eyes. Shutting them did not sooth the headache settling and thumping on every wall of her skull.

Any other day she would have popped one and get on with her business but the already short supply was running low. Dangerously low. She could not, in good conscience, take one pill just because she needed to mend a little bit faster. It would be pretty reckless considering she had no way of knowing how her boss welcoming party would be.

Abby's legs weakened and trembled unable to support her any longer

“Allow me.” Loki said, helping her slow down her fall toward the ground.

On his knees and at eye-level with her, Loki took a white handkerchief with golden embroidery from the square pocket of his shirt and proceeded to clean Abby’s face. It was too delicate and seemed costly to be used so carelessly. But Loki did not mind ruining the fabric with her sweat and dust.

Following his slow and steady gestures, a warm and soothing sensation undulated. 

“You’re doing it, aren’t you?” Abby said with a shallow breathe.

“Do you want me to stop?” Loki asked, staring at the centre of her forehead where the pain throbbed the most. He felt it pulse under the round of his fingertips and through the soft tissue of his mother's handkerchief. Loki had to be careful as to not let his attention escape him for he could sense all that was wrong with her. 

Fractures and bruises, scrape skin and migraines, strained muscles and pinched nerves. Old injuries that should have been healed and forgotten but were not. New ones that refused to fade. With his heart in his throat, Loki came to realize that the hotheaded, impertinent and clever Ms Carter remained in a constant and terrible agony.

With dread, Loki wondered how one could live subjected to so much pain. As he worked his magic the best he could, all the moments the two of them fought played back in his mind. It was part of the game, Loki told himself though the words echoed in emptiness for his new-found guilt had taken over.

“Are you about done?”

“You need a healer.” Loki stated.

“Aren’t you one?”

Loki let out a sigh. “Yes but…”

“Then do your best and let’s get out of here. We're on a schedule.”

“You need rest…” Loki interjected.

“I need to get the fuck out of here!”

That being said, Abby slapped the flat of her hand on Loki's wrist and pushed it out of her way. She got on her feet and stretched. She checked the state of her favourite jacket, glad to see that there was no damage done. As she walked around the car, to the driver's side, Abby winced. Not all the pain had been erased but it was better than nothing.

He noticed the slight tremor in her hand, as Ms Carter opened the driver's door and how she shut her jaw tight, possibly repressing a grunt as she bent to get in the car. "What are you doing?" he asked a tad irritated.

"Getting my stuff."

“There’s a motel not far, down the road."

"We need to get going."

"I won't say that your state worries me, love, but you are clearly in need of a good rest. A lot of it." Loki insisted. "You said so yourself before, we do not know what your boss has in store for us, for me. I just think that the best course of action right now is to delay our arrival and be in better shape than we are now. And no offense, love, but I don't think you are capable of handling yourself in a fight. I for one disclaim all responsibility concerning your untimely demise."

Abby emerged from the car with the bag of licorice and her mobile phone. She stared at him unsure if he was serious or joking though he did raised a few good points. Not that she would admit that to his face.

“I don’t like this.” she said under her breath, shaking her head.

"You don't have to like this. Just do it."

Abby rubbed her forehead before taking one strand of licorice and twisting her between her teeth. “OK. Let’s go to the motel. I hope they have a buffet cause I'm starving.”

Loki cocked a brow. “Isn't there anything edible in the car. I seem to recall…baby carrots.” he said with a conniving smile.

“Unfortunately they didn’t make it. So sad.” Abby pouted, faking to wipe tears from her face.

The snarky remark led Loki to believe that she was back. That the woman he had grown fond of was truly back. But as they were about to leave the wreckage, Ms Carter shrunk on herself and all of her light dimmed.

“Something wrong?” he inquired, careful not to get infected by the tension that emanated from her. 

It took her a good five seconds before she reacted.

During this moment of nothingness all Loki could do was waiting and he loathed it. Abby frowned, “My phone’s...dead.” Her voice was flat, her throat so tight that the words came out squeezed.

"I wanted to warn Sal so he could tell Mr H..." 

"I'm sure you can make a telephone call from the motel."

"I…I don't know the number…" Abby paused. “Shit." 

Her immediate future was already filled with uncertainty and though she used to thrive on chaos and made improvisation her forte, carelessly throwing herself at the mercy of fate, it was one of those rare occasion where Abernathy Carter had a reminder of what was in the balance. Being in close quarter with death never bothered her before. She thought she had time, ressources. Infinite life. But now it all hung on a shred getting thiner and thiner by the minute. 

“Ms Carter…”

Loki’s voice pierced through the veil of her darkest thoughts, waking up from her numb state. She glanced at him to see he was staring at her hand and more specifically at the phone she had squeezed so tight between her fingers it was now crushed.

“Remind me not to piss you off.” he said with a light scoff.

“Like you could help yourself.” Abby answered with a wry smile.

Loki rose his hands in the air in an apologetic gesture, “One of my favourite sport, I'll admit. Shall we?” he said before leading the way towards the motel.

Night was almost upon them, the motel being more far than Loki was led to believe. The walked on the side of the road not saying much for various reasons. 

Abby, despite Loki healing her broken elbow, some of her superficial wounds and her migraines, had a hard time going for more than two steps without wincing. But at least she had the rainbow licorice to help her focus on something else. She offered Loki some, wagging the plastic bag in his direction.

“I’m good, thank you.” he politely refused.

“You know, I picked them for you. Around these parts of the universe, or Nine Realms as you call them, t’s considered rude to decline a gift.”

“Pray tell Ms Carter, what could have possibly compelled you to chose… _these_ for me?”

She shrugged, twisting the licorice before replying, “It’s rainbowy. Like the bridge you talked about.”

“The bifrost?”

“Yeah. I thought it would remind you of your home you know.” she stated with a genuine and disarming simplicity. “Guess not.”

Loki stared at her in utter confusion but also sweet surprise.

The sunset gave her hair deep and dark red highlights like riblets of blood running through her umber locks. How could he have missed this detail?  
She moved alongside him, matching his footsteps and as long as he looked at her she seemed to be drawn in her own thoughts, her gaze lingering over some invisible spot. He glanced at the bag of licorice she held in her hand. She had chose this for him. She had actually taken some time and consideration in order to please him based on the overall feeling she had of him missing his home.

He missed Asgard, yes. But he had found a life on Midgard as well and as Odin said, home is where your people are and his people were right here…

“Can I get one?” he asked, breaking the silence between them.

She turned her head, setting her narrowed eyes on him. Perhaps it was too late and now the licorices belonged only to her and she would not share it. But then she smiled a sweet victorious smile and said, “Sure.”

Loki did not get to chose what flavour he was going to get. Abby took care of it by picking the green one.

“Because green is my favourite colour.” Loki said with a smile, studying the twisted sweeten licorice.

“And also it's apple flavoured. Like that wretched fruit you tried to get me to eat in the car.”

Loki nibbled at his share, hesitant to touch it with his tongue before actually taking a bite and chewing at it.

Abby watched every second of the show Loki was unwillingly putting. His eyebrows knitted in the middle, creating a pile of wrinkles on his forehead and his eyes were almost closed as he kept crushing the licorice between his teeth.

His chest stopped moving, showing that he was indeed holding his breath.

“Surely it’s not _that_ bad.”

“Nah it's…worse. Oh gods, it’s awful.” he mumbled, practically gagging. “It feels like chewing on a Huldra’s toe.”

“It’s an acquired taste.” Abby laughed as she bit half of the strawberry flavoured she had picked for herself. Loki was desperately looking around, his hand covering his mouth. “It’s OK to spit.” she assured him.

“No it’s...” He swallowed another teeny tiny bite hard and stuck his tongue out. “I don’t think I could eat the rest though.” he admitted with false regrets.

He did not have to say it twice, for Abby snatched what was left of the green licorice from Loki’s hand and shoved it in her mouth without blinking. 

“It baffles me that you actually _enjoy_ this.”

She moaned exaggeratedly with each bite she swallowed.

Loki chuckled lightly at her puerile answer.

“What’s a huldra? You said this tasted like a huldra’s toe.”Abby asked, pulling at the licorice between her teeth until it broke.

“Where I come from they are considered to be the wardens of the forest.”

“Oh yeah? And how do you know how their toes taste like?”

There was a slight change in Loki’s fair complexion. A rosy shade spread from one cheek to the other and over his nose betraying his inner perturbation.

“I don’t. I’m just assuming.” Loki said with a shrug though in fact he had spent quite some time in the company of the long tailed creatures, learning - among other things - how to perfect the art of changing forms when he was a young man in the making. 

“Well that’s pretty specific for just an assumption...” Abby wanted to dig deeper and know what there was to know about Huldras and how Loki came to think about their toes when he chew on the licorice but the man gave her nothing. She insisted for a while, making comments and assumptions of her own but it was clear that Loki did not want to dwell on the subject. 

At some point, annoying Loki ceased to amuse her, and so Abby retreated into her own mind where she was carried by the endless flow of thoughts.

The walk to the motel was neither long nor difficult but Abby was sore. The sole of her feet were stiff as a board and she could feel a knot down her spine tightening with each step. 

She was out of licorice and Loki had not made a sound for a while. He was not as talkative as she believed him to be. With no one around to impress or mesmerise he was an unruffled quiet man. In silence there is bliss, someone told her so long ago that she could not remember who it was who spoke such words of wisdom. Perhaps she read it on one of the many inspirational posters hung on the walls of the lab. 

Thinking about the lab where she had spent many dreadful hours of her life led her to the darkest part of her mind, memories colliding with her fears and remaining trauma.

The quietness in which Loki was comfortable at first shifted. As it happened before, and even though he could not explain it, Loki noticed the slight changes in Ms Carter. It turned out that in her silence she told him many things. And right now she was letting him know something was amiss. Like earlier in the car or at the warehouse. Loki shuddered at the memory of her feeble in his arms. Lifeless.

He glanced at the shape of Ms Carter to ease the rising anxiety that came with the thought of her being dead. She was - and he knew this of course - very much alive. Alive but withdrawn into silent making her barely present.

“A golden piece for your thoughts.” Loki said, leaning toward the woman.

Ms Carter kept on walking without saying a word so Loki called her name. He used his mellow voice, giving her a gentle nudge with his elbow, hoping he did not seem too desperate for an answer. Though he was.

However, Ms Carter remained unfocused.

Untethered.

If it was not for the rain starting to fall, Loki doubted she would have emerged from her thinking world.

“What the…” she mumbled, feeling the wetness on her scalp.

Abby looked up to see a dark gathering hanging above their heads. As the sun left this part of the world, the sky had traded its rosy clouds to somber grey ones.  
Rain fell one drop at a time or so it seemed.

“We better hurry.” Abby said, wrinkling her nose and patting her head.

“I agree. I don't want the rain to ruin my hair.”

“Your hair looks like it _needs_ some water...and shampoo. And a comb too. You ought to come out of your greasy phase.”

“I’ll let you know that _this_ look is very popular.” Loki responded, outraged by the affront.

She snickered. 

As more rain begun to fall, Abby accelerated her pace. “Come on!” she said to Loki who was still at a leisurely pace.

He sighed with a twinkle in his eyes. “This is Portland all over again.”

“Yeah except for the boat you threw me out of.”

“There was a _lifeboat_ underneath.” Loki reminded her.

“Sure. But did you bother to check before throwing me overboard?” she paused, waiting for him to confess but the fact was that Loki had acted upon pure instinct and in such he had not taken the time to check that they would land safely on said lifeboat. “Didn’t think so. You’re lucky I didn’t end up in the water cause you'd be dead by now, pretty boy.”

“Oh please. It’s not like you’re made of sugar. A little water never killed anyone.” Loki scoffed. "I wonder what happened to the dress. You know…the one that got us in trouble.” 

“That rag? Burned it when I got the chance." Abby answered, picking up the pace for she loathed water both in her drinks as on her. Showers were the only exception she made and even those came with great efforts and were usually cut short. If there was a way to clean herself without the use of water, Abernathy Carter would have find out by now.

"Can't you at least zap us to the motel.” 

“I’m out of juice, love.” Loki said, spreading his fingers in the air. 

"Walk faster then." 

She set off at a trot while Loki reminisced. He bit his lower lip thinking about how the see-through fabric that had kissed her curves, how it would have opposed no resistance if he were to rip it with his hands. 

“We had our fun that night didn’t we? Different from the one we had in Madrid but still.”

Abby shot a glance at him, her fingers hooked on the empty plastic bag that used to contain her favourite treat.

From innocent banter rose a palpable tension.

“Being thrown overboard was not _fun_. Being chased by an army was not _fun_ ” she gritting her teeth making her words as heavy as stone. “Pretending to be your wife, twice! was not _fun_ and having my most prized posession stolen was not _FUN!_ "

“Oh! Do you mean this knife by any chance?”

There it was. After almost two years, she saw it again. 

“It is an exquisite blade.” Loki said, studying the short dagger. “Small yet deadly. Just like you.”

The concealable weapon was too light for Loki's taste and the T-shape handle was made to be grasped in a fist, which made the dagger look like a shiny arrow head middle finger. It was made for battle fought hand-to-hand, for people who were not afraid to get in close with blood, sweat and tears. 

“Give it back.” Abby demanded, her eyes fixed on the blade.

“Come on, love. You know I can't do that.”

Loki's voice was made of the sweetest of honey.

“Give it back.” Abby gnarled, her upper lip rolled up and twitching.

To complete his act of provocation, Loki waved the dagger near his face.

“Only if you behave.” 

“Heard that promise before.”

The smile tugged at the corner of Loki’s lips was the last straw. Rain or no rain she had to get her knife back. 

Abby charged, head first. 

Though it burned when he took a breath, Loki laughed. 

She came at him with rage and velocity, ready to punch his pretty face when Loki grabbed Abby’s arm with both hands and twisted it until her skin burn.

“You did not behave then.” he reminded her. “Just like you’re not behaving now.” 

Loki locked her arm behind her back and pulled her against his chest. With a quick spell, her legs could no longer move.

He secured his grip on the woman who fought with all she got to break free, but the spell was strong as her rage was exhilarating. 

“Be a good girl and you shall be rewarded.” Loki soughed in her ear, taking pleasure in her grunts.

“Cheater.” she breathed hard. “Can’t fight without your little tricks, uh?”

“Oh there’s nothing little about my tricks.” Loki answered, pressing the dagger gently against the tender flesh of her throat. 

He glanced down to enjoy the view of her chest heaving as she quivered.

The smile in his voice as he bragged, gave Abby unwanted thrills that ran down her spine. His chest heaved against her back and his breathe, though short, was like a fresh morning breeze brushing her skin. 

Loki displayed his pride like a peacock, failing to notice that Abby had still one arm free.

She grabbed a fist full of Loki’s hair and yanked at it as she threw her head against his face. 

CRACK. 

A warm and throbbing weight, similar to a heavy blanket, spread over Loki’s nose. 

An iron smell seized him.

Loki blinked, loosening his grip just enough for his captive to turn and grabbed him by the ears. 

Abby pulled his face towards hers.

“Stop!” he screamed, as he felt her teeth grazing the tip of his noise. “Were you...trying to rip my nose off?” Loki asked in complete disbelief.

She tilted her head back, her fingers slightly less tight around Loki’s ears but she still had a firm handle on them.

“Y – Yes?” 

“WHY?”

“You got my legs stuck with your magic. What else was I suppose to do?”

“Not bite my nose off for starter!” 

With a flicker of his hand, Loki broke the spell that incapacitated Ms Carter. And within ten seconds his face was back to normal. At least on the surface.  
The blow she had struck him with had left a lingering throbbing pain that irradiated with every two breathe.

As Loki healed himself without trouble, Abby could not help herself from feeling a stir in her stomach. Yes, she was jealous of him, envious of what she once had and will no longer have. 

The fight, though brief, was already taking a toll on her. 

There was not a bone in her body that did not ache, not a muscle that was not sore. She loathed the weakness that had taken a hold of her. But moreover she hated the fact that she needed the assistance of someone like him to get her back on her feet.

“Where is it?” Abby said, searching the ground.

“The motel is just a mile down the road.”

“Not the motel! My dagger!”

“Oh, that. I put it away.” Loki shrugged, resuming his walk. 

Abby let out a loud irritated grunt and kicked at the rocks on the ground. "Why are you like this, uh?"

“You mean cautious? Because I remember that you did tried to kill me once with that very blade before.”

“I was just _threatening_ you.” Abby defended herself. "It was nothing personal."

"Oh I'm sure it wasn't." 

"But it will be once I have my hands on it. You bastard." she muttered between her teeth.

"What was that?"

"Nothing!" she said, walking past him in a hurry.

They arrived to a wide gravelled path that led to the motel parking lot where only a truck and a couple of cars were parked. 

“It’s not exactly a four star hotel...” Loki said, crinkling his nose.

“But look, they have a buffet.” Abby said, pointing at the sign. “I for one am starving.”

She walked decisively towards the front desk where a man hunched over an open clock was dusting a minuscule gearwheel. 

“Good evening kind sir.” Loki said as he approached the counter.

The clerk looked up from under his square glasses. “Room for two I assume.” He put his gear down and as he stood up, retrieved a heavy ledger from a drawer and put it with great care in front of Loki. “Just one night, yes?”

“If it’s not too much trouble.” Loki smiled amiably but the clerk did not care for politeness. He was too anxious to go back to the repair of his clock.

“Write down a name, I don’t care which one.” He gave Loki a pen. 

“Is there a phone I can use?” Abby asked, searching the place for a phone but could see only one dull and depressing painting of a lake and a fake green plant that needed a serious dusting.

“There’s one in the room. Check out is at 10 a.m, no breakfast, no buffet.”

“What!” exclaimed Abby with a strangled voice.

“The kitchen’s broken.” the clerk answered her.

Abby almost fainted on the counter. “B–broken? Does this mean there’s no food around? No even a...salad?” she added, gaging.

The clerk glanced at her, his eyes filled with tired judgment. “Here’s your key. Room 104. Please don’t break the bed.”

“Break the bed?” Wh...Can we circle back on the food part like…”

“Come now, darling.” Loki said, rounding Abby’s shoulders with his arm and leading her out. “Thank you sir.” he nodded towards the clerk who could not care less.

Once they were outside the office, the woman let her bafflement turn into infuriation. “Did you hear the man? The kitchen is broken! This is preposterous!” 

She turned to Loki, expecting some sort of moral support but all he did was giving her a strange look. “At least we didn’t have to pretend we’re married.” she said, finding this was a consolation. 

“Now _that_ is preposterous.” Loki answered with a short laugh that died as soon as he saw the shadow clouding her gaze and the long cold stare she was giving him. “You never liked it when I introduced you as my wife, did you?”

Abby scoffed with an exaggerated shrug. “I’d say.”

“Why?” 

“Dunno. Never made sense, I guess. I liked the rings though. They were a nice touch.”

“I like to think it was the attention to the details that best served our tale.” Loki smirked. “That and our undeniable and tangible chemistry of course.”

Abby rolled her eyes, unwilling to gratify Loki with anything more.

The pink and green neon sign was situated just outside their room, giving the small place an eerie glow.

Loki opened the door and withdrew to let Abby pass. “If you may.” he said courteously bowing his head.

The room was small but had all the essentials.

A round table made for two in front of the window that gave to the parking lot. A full length framed mirror on the wall next to the wardrobe and one long plywood drawer with a TV and an electrical kettle on it that faced the one queen size bed.

Abby's mouth dropped as she scanned the room, “What the...Where’s the other one?”

But as far as the eye could see, there was only one bed.


	3. Fools

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And there was only one bed...

“I’ll take the left side!” Loki claimed, taking a leap and falling without grace on the bed. 

He stretched his legs and yawned like a lazy cat prepping itself for a well deserve nap.

“This can’t be right. I’m sure they made a mistake.” Abby said, looking frantically at the place.

Before Loki had a chance to answer, the woman stormed out of the room without bothering to close the door behind her.

Less than five minutes later she returned, her face petrified in anger, her eyes shadowed by a deep and dark glare. 

When she slammed the door shut, the frame trembled and the one painting hung on the wall threatened to fall and crash. She strode across the room, heading to the bathroom, stumping her foot on the ground. 

“What news from the front desk, honey? Were you able to secure a second bedding arrangement?"

Abby ignored him and disappeared in the bathroom before she slammed the door. 

The key turned in the lock soon to be followed by a primal scream. 

“What a temper.” Loki told himself, closing his eyes.

The bed was comfortable enough for him to drift to numbness, flirting with slumber.

Thin as cigarette papers, the walls failed to cover her mumbling and grumbling. Loki could hear it all as if he _were_ in the room with the crossed woman who could not bare the idea of sharing, only for a few hours, an innocent bed with him. If seeing her this pissed off was not so amusing, Loki's ego would have been bruised.

With her back against the door, Abby breathed in slowly through her nostrils. She forced herself to visualize the air going in, at the same time she acknowledged the pain that went with her healing process.

Through breathing, Abby became aware of the bruises that did not fade yet, and all the knot waiting to be untied, and the strained muscles and scrapped skin.  
The short yet brutal fight against Loki along the highway had taken a toll on her. When she had left Coulson's care she was far from being at a hundred percent so picking up a fight with Loki - no matter how much he deserved it - was foolish. Foolish and unnecessary, she told herself annoyed with her latest outburst.

Once more she had acted against logic, as if her survival instincts were corrupt and defective. Loki was the only thing securing her being healed for good and she had jeopardized that for what? A bruised ego? A need to pass her frustration onto someone else?

Abby pushed herself away from the door and stumbled to the sink. 

She dared not look at her reflection. She feared what she might see. A painful reminder that she was not in control of her life, let alone herself.

It was an everlasting battle against herself and she was growing tired of constantly loosing.

If not her mind, a good shower will at least sooth her sore back.  
She entered the bathtub and sat under the steaming water with her legs folded against her chest and hugged herself.

An old tune came to her mind, sending her back to a time when things were easier and when taking a bath was not only an option but her favourite moment of the day. Now she could barely hold herself under the spurt of the shower when she washed her hair. Having the water run over her head and roll down her face, even though she was careful not to let it enter her nose and mouth, gave her the impression she was drowning.

Abby curled her fingers, pressing her nails against the flesh of her palm. She sniffed as tears welled up in her eyes. 

And when she was about to cry, a knock on the door startled her. 

“Ms Carter?” Loki called from behind the door. “I’m heading out for a minute.”

Abby combed her hair back with her wet hands and let the water wash her tears away but only for a second as a gut gripping fear rose from within and her throat closed up.

Loki knocked again. “Will you be all right?" There was a pause. “Ms Carter?” 

The knob turned in slow motion on its hinges. “Ms Carter?”

“Yes! Just go already!” Abby shouted from the shower.

However, Loki stood behind the door, his hand hovering above the knob as he kept his ears open. 

He was not sure what he was expecting to hear nor why he was doing this. She sounded tensed but that might had to do with him disturbing her as she then made it clear she wanted him gone. However Loki could not shake the feeling that Ms Carter was not all right. 

Loki sighed against the wooden panel that separated him from Ms Carter and pushed himself away.

Abby shivered. She had lost track of time and now the water was running cold. She hurried to scrub herself but when she bent over to clean her feet she gave herself a backache. The pain was so violent, it felt like someone just kicked her with all their might.

“Fuck.” Abby muttered, clenching her fist around the motel small off-white soap. 

She carefully unfold her spine, breathing loudly between her teeth.

In the inside pocket of her jacket was a small tin box in which remained the last 2 enhancer healing pills. Every fibre of her aching body were drawn to those pills like sailors hearing the sirens’ song.

She glanced at her jacket on the floor with greed. 

A few years back she would not even have a backache but now...Abby shook her head. What good would it do her to dwell on the past, to crave for what once was and no longer is? 

Abby exited the shower in slow motion. Once in front of the sink, she wiped the steam from the mirror and took a good look at herself. 

She played with her face for a while, stretching the skin of her cheeks in opposite direction, lifting her eyelids and sticking her tongue out with a wicked grin. 

The motel room was silent and she wondered if Loki had left for good. Despite what he said and his promise, he had no reason to stick around. Especially after the way she treated him. He deserved it, shot her mind voice. Shut up, Abby retorted, glancing at the sink.

He deserves every slap, every kick and punch. He can’t be trusted and you’re a fool to believe that he can. The voice continued building a case against Loki and as it did, Abby shrunk on herself.

Her fingers curled around the edge of the sink and as her grasp tightened her knuckles whitened. “Shut up.” she inhaled through her tight shut jaw.

He is playing you, having fun while your life in on the line. 

“Shut...up.”

He sent an army after you, threw you overboard, provoked the car accident that wrecked Coulson’s SUV...What will be next I wonder.

“SHUT UP!” Abby yelled, smashing her fist into the mirror.

Shards of glass spiked out of her skin, like the spines of a sea urchins. 

Blood beat dully in her ears. She cussed, looking at the mess she made.

The bathroom door flung open, the lock teared apart as Loki barged in.

“What have you done?” he exclaimed with a shrill.

His wide eyes went from the broken mirror to the wounded and bloody hand. 

She held her fist close to her chest, her gaze, dull and empty, stared down at the shards as if they were inconsequential. 

Loki’s breath got caught in his lungs, he swallowed hard to get rid of the knot in his throat. Unwilling to let the panic overflow his reason, Loki studied the situation.

The shards appeared to be big enough to be extracted easily and with any luck the nerves would be untouched. However, Loki needed to get closer to get a better look at her wounds. But as he was about to take her hand in his, Ms Carter suddenly stepped and bumped against the sink.

She winced and hissed, “Back off.”

With reluctance Loki obeyed and stepped back. All he wanted was to take a look at it. Well, that was not entirely true. What Loki wanted was to take _care_ of it. Of her.

“You need to clean it.” he said, pointing at her hand with his chin. 

“I know.” she answered, her brows furrowed in annoyance. 

“I can do it for you if you need.” Loki offered.

She replied by showing him her back, building up a wall of ice as she proceeded to pick the shard out of her flesh. 

Even if she refused his assistance, Loki made appear an antiseptic bottle on the sink and a pair of pliers in case there were smaller shards that would prove trickier to extract. 

“Not to rush you or anything but...” Loki said as he stepped out of the bathroom. “Diner’s ready.” 

He dragged himself away, her rejection tainting his heart. Loki had to trust that she was capable of taking care of herself. After all her healing abilities will mend the fresh wounds and then she will be on top of her game on the morrow.

However, as Loki checked if everything was in order for diner, he could not help but feel a drop of guilt as to how he handled things earlier. She is clearly unrest, he reflected. And what did I do about it? I provoked her to some lousy duel on the side of an unknown road. And then I left her alone when I _knew_ she was unwell.

“What’s all this?” 

Ms Carter’s voice sang behind him. 

“Why, you claimed to be starving.” Loki answered, as he aligned the chocolate bars.

“So you raided all the vending machines in the area.” 

“I wasn’t quite sure what you liked so I gathered a little bit of everything.”

She was standing beside him, her shoulder brushing his while she gazed at the junk food carefully put on the table.

She tucked her hair behind her ear, nibbling at her lower lip her. Loki noticed that the wounds on her hand were still open but clean. 

“Here.” he said, holding a roll of white bandages between his fingers.

“Oh no, I'm fine.” she answered with a shrug for her attention was directed at the food displayed on the table.

“Please.”

Loki spoke with a brittle in his voice, that stopped her from picking up yet another fight. She glanced at Loki, whose eyes were set on an invisible point near the window. At the corner of her eyes, she saw the food he went to fetch. For her. Abbys sighed and grabbed the bandages. 

She sighed again when she was done, “Happy now?” she asked, waving her hand under his nose and faking annoyance.

Loki gave her the ghost of a smile and invited her to sit across from him. 

“What would you suggest is the best to begin with?” Loki asked, bracing himself for the crime against his first-rate taste he was about to commit.

The question stupefied one Abernathy Carter already tearing a bag of BBQ flavoured crisps.

“Who are you and what have you done with Loki? Cause I know the man and he’d rather be dead in a gutter than put this crap on his godly tongue.”

Loki sniggered, biting the inside of his cheek.

“I’m willing to throw my impeccable taste to the wind and embark on this… _epicurean_ journey with you.”

Abby faltered at the compliment, her face warm where the flush spread.

“…Why? Can't you summon a salad or some soup?”

“I don't feel like eating a salad or some soup.” he exclaimed, lifting his chin up and looking all regal. “And you know me. I'm not one to shy away from new adventures and experiences. And better guide could I have hoped for, if not you?”

She snickered and her grin turned into a bright full smile Loki felt compelled to replicate. 

“Well, I'm honoured, your majesty.” Ms Carter replied with a graceful nod tainted with a hint of mischievousness. 

“And what item do you recommend we should consume first, Honoured?”

The lousy joke was beneath even the lowest level Loki dared go to, but it snatched another smile from her lips and that alone was reward enough.

Loki followed Abby’s guidance to a fault even though her main advice, which she repeated a couple of times before getting tired of him not complying, was “Be Bold!” She urged him to try different combinations of sweet and sour or to spread peanut butter and chocolate candy on cheese crackers. In spite of his good intention, Loki’s will to please his dear Ms Carter only went so far. Even the God of Mischief had to draw a line somewhere and make sure not to cross it. Ever.

They were having a genuine good time together, comfortable in each other presence, carrying light conversations and exchanging banters between two bites. Abby found that when he was not deliberately provoking her or putting on a show to his glory, Loki was a pleasant companion. Especially when he let his guard down like now.

Loki was thoroughly licking orange dust off his fingers, bobbing his head up and down in obvious delight.

“What?” he asked, as he caught Abby staring at her with a smirk.

“You like it.” Abby teased.

“The spicy ones are...adequate.” he paused, creasing the empty bag. How sad he did not take more. If only he had known. "We might want to take more of those for our tour. I'm sure the king of Svartalfheim would enjoy this as well."

“Sparta-what?”

“Svartalfheim. Realm of the dwarves. Their king respond well to food offerings.” Loki answered, as a matter-of-factly. “We should bring him some of what we ate tonight to please him.”

"So you haven't forgotten about it.”

“Forgotten? I'm looking forward to it. Are you not?” he asked almost appalled at the idea that she could back down and refused to travel to the other realms.

“Ready when you are.” she joked, opening a bag of Skittles. 

She did not mean anything by it but a part of her hoped that Loki would jump on the opportunity to leave right this instant. They would put that whole business behind and just go wherever they want to go. What would Mr H do anyway? Chase them down to Sparta – Svartla – Whatever realm they will go to? 

It was a tempting idea if she ever had one. 

Go and never come back. 

And die in two weeks time because you're unable to avoid trouble, jibed a voice at the back of her mind. You said you were going to clean your mess and now you want to go galavanting with Pretty Boy over here? Don't be _that_ fool. Behind his charming demeanour, Loki is one deceitful master, ready to double-cross you when it will suit his needs. Better be betrayed here than in some far away land you can't even pronounce the name of. At least on Earth you're on your grounds. You've got a better chance of surviving for when he'll betray you.

“We need to sort our business first. Speaking of. About tomorrow...” Loki begun.

“I don’t want to talk about tomorrow.” she snapped back.

“As much as I enjoy a little improvisation here and there I think we ought it to ourselves to at least think about a plan.” 

“We already have a plan.” Abby stated, jerking up. She proceeded to clean the table of all the tinfoil and plastic wraps, doing a wonderful job ignoring Loki’s perplexed gaze following her.

“What we have is a nascent plan at best which, I’m sure, is now jeopardized by our unfortunate delay.”

“And that’s precisely why I don’t want to talk about it, okay? It’ll do me nothing but keep me up all night and I need to rest! So if you’ll excuse me.” 

With her hand full, she walked decisively toward the bin and dumped the remnants of their diner. Loki’s gesture touched her in ways she was not comfortable admitting. The last person to have done something nice for her was the good doctor but thinking of her was off-limit. This life is behind me now. 

This life...She would hardly called her time with Her Majesty’s Secret Services a walk in the park but it had had its perks. The best food on her plate and a high-class roof over her head. Endless travels around the globe filled with thrill and adventure. 

But this has been a lie.

They promised her that she would get to live through countless of decades and thus, be a privileged witness of the constant changing of the world. 

To most people it sounded like a dream. But for Abby, the dream came with a leash held tight by a demanding master that expected her to do as she was told. And as long as she would kept her place and remained dutiful, she would live happily ever after. Or so they told her.

She could not help but wonder how the current situation different was different from what she had known for the past sixty years. Due to her impossible recklessness – that should have been repressed by now, but somehow endured – Abby has placed her fate in the hands of men that could betray her on a whim.

“I don’t trust you.” she heard herself saying.

The words, hushed out of her mouth without a second thought, hung in the air. It felt like an out-of-body experience and there was no going back. 

“I wish that I could but – I don’t.” Abby added, dropping the truth like a ton of brick.

His first instinctive response was to run as fast and far as he could from the woman who was tearing him to pieces with only words. 'I don't trust you.'  
Loki had to iron his will to fight his flight reaction. He stood up, cloaking her with his shadow.

“Have I done anything to prove you that you can’t trust me?”

Abby's back spasmed for she giggled lowly. But when she turned there was no ironic smirk, not even anger.

“I’m tired.” she said, brushing past him.

“Tell me then.” Loki interjected, turning on his heels, grabbing her arm. “What will it take for you to trust me?”

She yanked herself free from his grasp , adding a sharp glance before she went to bed, walled up in silence.

He waited, hopeless for an answer, a sign that she was at least _willing_. 

“Tell me how to fight this war.” he insisted. “Tell me what you need.”

“Sleep.” she answered flatly as she slid under the sheets and covered herself up.

Now he could not even look at her.

Burying his hands in the depth of his pockets, Loki turned away. 

The door of the room opened, startling Abby.

“Where’re you going?” she asked, talking at the shape of him.

“Out for a walk.” he answered, one foot on the threshold and his hand on the doorknob

“Will you come back?” she asked, sitting on the bed.

I told you he was going to leave, whispered the mind voice. He’s untrustworthy and yet you persist on giving him chances after chances. You’ve read the files, spent enough time studying him, fighting him to know Loki only does what he wants. Betrayal runs in his veins. 

“Please come back.” 

Loki’s shoulders fell in a sigh.

He closed the door and turned, unexpectedly locking eyes with her. You'll be the death of me, he thought, his heart sinking in his chest.

As he approached, Abby shifted on the bed, making room for him to lie down. 

“Would you mind giving me a pillow?” he asked as he took his shoes off.

“Why?”

“Never mind, I’ll get one.” he sighed, exhausted and unwilling to battle with her again.

A square plump pillow appeared under Loki's armpit. He grabbed the light brown bedspread and shook it in front of him.

“Don’t be ridiculous.” Abby said in harsher tone than intended. “You can’t sleep on the floor.”

Loki studied the carpeted floor, one finger on his chin. “Indeed. A single bed should fit right here or perhaps simple a mattress. I’ll ask the manager if perhaps he’d be inclined to lend me one.”

Abby pushed the covers away. 

“It’s late and I doubt he’ll give anything other than a cold stare. And even if he did, should you, a prince, nay, a _god_ , sleep on the floor?” she said, cocking a brow. “The bed is big enough for the both of us. And I swear I’ll do my best not to kick you in my sleep.” she promised, hiding behind humour so he would not see how much she needed him to stay with her.

Make up your mind, Carter. Either you want him or you don’t. If he doesn't want to leave you, then you'll surely drive him away if you keep this on. 

Loki pondered for a while, then came a sigh as he decided to accept her offer. 

He stripped of his black shirt and pants and socks and took the time to fold them with care. Bathed in the flashing neon glow of the sign outside, Loki looked taller, his lean and toned body hugged by his black singlet and black pair of boxer shorts. 

When he bent to put his clothes on the table, Abby could not help but take a peak at his perfect round and firm arse, but when he turned and approached the bed to slid under the covers, she slumped on her side of the mattress and showed him her back. “Night.” she said, hastily.

“Good night.”

They were both rigid, near the edge of their respective sides, lying on their backs and staring at the ceiling that changed colours whenever the neon sign would flash its pink and green light. 

It was but a queen size bed, yet the distance between them felt far wider. 

The room was dead silent. He could not even hear her breath. Oh my gods, is she even breathing?

Loki shifted - just to make sure, he told himself - and found Ms Carter closer than expected, her eyes set on him. 

Abby suppressed the birth of a gasp by pinching her lips together. 

By all means Loki was quite the alluring man. Always dressed with sharp clothes that hugged his lean and toned body. This was never put in question. But sometimes – like right now – there would be an ethereal glow about him, an otherworldly grace that exceeded any beauty standards. 

Abby was caught in that glow, lost in the deep yet vivid emerald eyes of his.

“You’re staring.” Loki said.

“So are you.”

Loki chewed on his lips then smiled a drowsy smile. 

She scooted a little closer, merely a few millimeters in his direction, but his heart skipped a beat. Should he do the same? He sure wanted to. Throwing caution to the wind, he slithered on the bed and was glad to see she was not backing away. 

They hung in each other's gaze until she lifted her hand in the air. 

It was hovering above the side of his face, yet Loki's skin reacted in anticipation of her touch. 

She was hesitating so Loki shut his eyes.

The tip of her fingers kissed his temple. He shivered

She brushed down and over his ear in a slow and tentative pace before she grazed the roots his raven hair. She lingered on the edge of his jawline, feeling the curves of his face. 

Keeping his eyes shut proved to be difficult, even more so when her thumb ran over his mouth. Loki parted his lips in a silent gasp.

Abby had no idea what was going on but deep down she knew that she always wanted to do that. But what surprised her the most was the way Loki let her do to him what she willed. He embraced her touch without shying away from it or trying to take control. He made true exposure look easy.

His half opened mouth were an open invitation she was willing to accept. She leaned on her elbow and over him.

Feeling her body so close to his, Loki could not help slid a hand around her waist, brushing at the skin under her white t-shirt. He was about to open his eyes when she told him, “Don't.” It was between a plea and an order, hushed in the dead of the night. The last thing he wanted was for this moment to end, so Loki kept his eyes closed and since she said nothing about his hand, he kept it there, enjoying the feels of her skin under his touch.

She leaned closer, her hair brushing the side of his face. With the tips of her fingers, Abby lifted Loki's chin up. 

His lips were cool and supple. His mouth opened for her like a flower under the sun. His tongue was a soft caress but the moment she deepened the kiss, Loki grabbed her hips and pulled her on top of him, his hands already working their way up and down her spine.

Abby shivered, her body waving against Loki's, snatching a couple of moans from him.

Loki breathed heavily against Abby’s mouth and was about to lose the little control he had over himself when grabbed his arms and pinned them above his head. He chuckled lowly, biting her lower lip.

“You like that? ” she asked, with a wicked smile.

“Hm, hm. ” Loki nodded, his blood buzzing in his ears. 

“Why am I not surprised. ” she said, before sucking at the flesh on the crook of his neck.

Loki undulated his hips under her, arching his back and pressing his groin against hers. 

Abby whimpered and returned to his lips. She wanted his tongue to toy with until it was all swollen. As she did, she slid her hand under his boxer shorts, teasing the leaky tip of his hard cock. 

Loki tensed, pushing at the one hand she had around both his wrist. She was proud to have caught him off guard, and even more so now that he was shaking like a leaf. She bit his collarbone, her breathing as well as her strokes growing faster. 

Loki curled his toes, as he repressed a grunt that became a loud moan when all of sudden Abby bursted into a laugh. The buzz immediately gone.

“Sorry.” she hiccuped. “But my wrist hurts.” she confessed, burying her face under Loki’s chin. 

He beamed and joined her in giggling, before he planted a kiss on the top of her head. 

“It's all right. ” he assured her, though his throbbing cock would beg to differ.

She was sweaty and flushed, nevertheless breathtaking. 

“What do you have in mind?” Loki asked with an arched eyebrow.

“Oh it’s not about what’s in my mind but what’s will be in my mouth.”

“You did _not_ just say that.” he exclaimed with a guffaw. 

Abby winked at the laughing man before gliding down. But when she took his cock in her mouth, Loki threw his head onto the pillow.

She worked him with hunger until he put a stop to it.

“I wasn't done.” she told him with a pout.

“I know love. But why should I be the only one having fun? ”

“But I _was_ having fun.”

“All right. Let me put it this way then. What if I offered you an other kind of fun?” he asked, stealing a kiss from Abby's lips

“What kind of fun are we talking ab- oooh.”

Loki's nimble fingers had just find their way under her panties, grazing the skin under her pubic hair and when they began their exploration she could not help but let her head fall. 

Loki seized that temporary loss of her domination and rolled over to be on top. He wanted to have a better view of her when she took her pleasures. 

Her face was red and her forehead damp with sweat but in his eyes, this made her only more beautiful. Loki covered the hollow of her neck with cold bites, erasing with his lips the lines he made with his tongue.

Every time Loki exhaled against her sensitive skin and pressed his wrist against her swollen clit, Abby's trembled to the point she fear she might break.

“Oh god.” she let out in a raspy voice.

“Yes?”

“Shut up.” she answered, giggling anyway.

The round of Loki's arse fitted perfectly in the palm of her hand. It was everything she dreamed it would be. Firm but soft enough that you want to keep squeezing it. Loki nibbled at her neck, sending Abby through a whirlpool of sensations, praying for a sweet release that would not come.

Loki enjoyed taking his time and there was nothing she could do or say to speed things up.

Set on exploring every inch of her body, Loki's free hand roamed free under Abby’s shirt, brushing her stomach, just left of her belly button. It was to be expected but, carried away by the passion, Abby did not even think to warn him not to go there. 

She froze, pulling away from yet another kiss. 

The simple presence of Loki’s hand revived the excruciating pain of her second death, when the harpoon tore half of her stomach, slashing her guts apart. Abby pushed the lump down her throat, overwhelmed by what she saw in Loki’s eyes and, by the quiver in his voice when he asked if anything was wrong. Could this be that he was genuinely cared for her well-being? Don’t kid yourself Abernathy, she thought. He just wants to know if you’re putting a stop to the fucking. 

“Just...don’t touch me there, OK? Sensitive area. But not the good kind.”

Loki nodded, sealing the deal with a tender kiss.

Every time he would have her moan and twitch, Loki exuded a peacockish pride and Abby would swipe the smugness from his smirk with a ravenous kiss.

Abby was lying next to him, with her back against Loki's stomach, trying to catch her breath. She had her head resting on one of his arms while his fingers danced lightly on all the red marks he had given her and his lips brushed the round of her naked shoulder.

“You have scars.” she stated absentmindedly 

“So do you.”

“Why d'you keep them.”

“As a reminder.”

“Does it work?”

Loki scoffed. “No.”

She wondered what those scars stood for. She knew the story behind each and every one of hers of course. They all served as a reminder as well but the fact was that Abby was unable to remember what they were supposed to remind her about. 

In spite of her many, _many_ mistakes, she seemed to be doomed to repeat them again and again.

Sleeping with the enemy is a new one, said the voice at the back of her head. 

Abby took a deep shaky breath and withdrew her hand from Loki's arm.

He would have been perfectly content staying like that for another couple of minutes, or the entire night, but Abby decided to swing out of bed and deprive him of her warmth and post-coitus radiance. 

Loki frowned, “Something wrong?”

“Nah. I just need a trip to the loo is all.” 

Once again, Abby locked herself in the bathroom.

She watched at some of the red marks began to fade. It'll be like nothing happened, she told herself, seating on the toilet. 

Yeah, like Madrid didn't happened? 

Abby pressed her skull between her hands, anxious to make that voice go away. What was it, some twisted version of her conscience? Was she finally loosing it? Nothing would surprise her less than her mind slipping away. After what she had been through, the fact that she was functioning and somewhat sane was nothing short of a miracle. 

Loki had no idea what the lies did to her and she blamed herself for letting him get to her the way he did. What a fool I've been, buying it when I perfectly knew this was all an act. She had chosen to follow him when he played the part of the loving husband. With reluctance at first but then a part of her; the one buried deep in the darkness for so long craved affection like some suffocating fish out of water took over.

This was a mistake, she told herself, shaking her head. Her mind voice did not contradict her although neither of them could tell if Abby was talking about whatever happened in Madrid or the sex she just had with Loki. Regardless of the situation, she had, once more, dived into troubles, creating yet another mess she would have to sort.

When she came back to the bedroom, Loki was spread on the bed, his head resting on one arm and the corner of the sheet conveniently hiding his flattened penis. He watched her with greed in his eyes Aware of her nakedness, Abby grabbed her shirt and put it on to which Loki answered with a sad pout.

The cotton fabric of the t-shirt never bothered her before, but in comparison of the silken touch of Loki’s skin, it felt rough against hers.

Abby pulled the sheets over her and turned to lie on her right side, folding her legs so her knees would touch her stomach.

She closed her eyes and exhaled, hoping for a restful slumber. She sure needed it. 

But then Loki rolled over and spooned her. "Sleep well, love." he whispered, with a drowsy smile in his voice as he gave her one last kiss on the crook of her neck.

What the _hell_ is going on? she asked herself, her body stiff like a corpse in Loki's loving embrace.

Granted he was quite unpredictable and she was never the best judge of character but still. How were the chances of him doing… _that_? 

Her mind went directly to foul play. He must have some ulterior motive. Perhaps it was all part of the secret plan he had made.

Before she died for the first time, Abernathy Carter was a little rascal prone to trust anyone who would offer her food or play with her. She would always assume people having nothing but best intentions even if their actions were, sometimes, reprehensible. 

In spite of Peggy’s numerous warnings and living through a devastating war, Abby’s faith in people’s good heart remained unaltered. 

But then she died. 

And her views were turned upside down.

She went from this girl who carried infinite kindness in her heart to the a suspicious woman who would mistrust everyone.

Things were even more so confusing with Loki.

She was well aware of his pet peeves and triggers so she would often have a good guess of how he would react in certain situations. But this was far from her wildest prediction.

Abby had a hard time picturing Loki as the cuddling type but there he was, wrapping her in his arms and making her feel like she belonged there. He was showering her with unrequested and unexpected affection like in…

Madrid.

She scooted over the edge of the bed. Loki moaned, rubbing his nose against spine. “What're y'doing?” 

“More like what are _you_ doing. ”

“I was about to meet with Njörun.” he mumbled, his arm still around her waist and holding her.

“Can’t you do it on _your_ side of the bed? You said you wanted the left one and I’m on the right one so if you stay here you’re not on the right side of the bed, I mean your right side which would be the left side of the bed.” 

Loki’s tender grasp loosened as he pulled back.

She could feel his gaze studying her, his mind buzzing with questions yet to be asked out loud.

“It's just that…cuddling's not my thing.” she explained, swallowing hard. “Fighting and fucking I do but…”

“I see. ”

Loki could not lie and pretend he was not hurt by the rejection, but he would be damned if he made her feel guilty for it. So without another word, he rolled over to the left side, torn by the feeling he had made a fool of himself. 

Abby closed her eyes, releasing fat and silent tears. Somehow she was missing him. 

I’m just a fool, she thought letting her tears carrying her to slumber.

\---

_Abby is lying down on a cold steel examining table fastened to it by a large black belt around her waist and cloth band around her wrist and ankles._

_She is alone in blinding lighted white tiled room. She can’t see the faces of the men who stand behind the glass, filling the room they are in with the smoke of their cigarettes._

_However, when she stretches her neck to its breaking point, Abby can have a glimpse at their shape while nod in approval as a giant needle pierces her skin and grazes the muscles underneath._

_She winces and grunts but she does not scream._

_“How does this feel?” asks a disembodied voice coming from the speakers._

_“What do you think?” she yells between her teeth, struggling against her restraints._

_“On a scale from 1 to 10, one being no pain at all and 10 being…”_

_“7!”_

_The men nod, leaning against one another, exchanging notes and data or perhaps they are talking about their next polo match or the inflation around a good cuppa._

_“What about now?” the voice asks as the needle pushed through the muscle in her thigh to poke at femur._

_She can not hold her scream any longer and it blazes all the way out of her lungs._

_“On a scale from one to ten…”_

_“NINE!”_

_Her head falls back against the table with a loud bang._

_The damp cloth of her robe sticks to her body like a second yet unpleasant and unfitted skin._

_The sobs that came with the relief of the needle leaving her leg are uncontrollable._

_Abby breathes through the pain, through the fire in her scratching throat._

_“Let’s move on shall we?” proposes a voice different from the one who asked the questions._

_The faceless men wrapped in the smoke nod._

_She is no longer alone in the room but she would have preferred to be._

_A shadow approaches._

_“Please.” Abby begs, swallowing back her tears, chocking on her sobs._

_She begs for mercy, to let her go, but the shadow does not listen. It never does._

_The shadow takes her out of the white room, its grip cold as death around her heated flesh._

_“Please.” she begs once more. But the shadow is deaf to her pleas._

_Abby knows where the shadow is taking her and so she fights through the pain and exhaustion, digging her heels on the ground, snapping her teeth in the air with hope she will bite the shadow. All of this is fruitless for she will end up in the blue room._

_No. No, no, no. Not again. Please!_

_She thinks she cries out for help but her voice never carries._

_The shadow opens the door and leads her inside the blue room. Abby prays now for the sweet release of death but she knows it will not come. I don’t die. I never die._

_She is brought to the edge of a pool._

_The shadow locks a shackle around her ankle and steps back, waiting for further instruction._

_Abby does not try to run. They have made it abundantly clear that there was no escape, no life for her outside of these walls._

_“Please proceed.” orders the same disembodied voice than the one in the white room. Abby glances up. The same faceless men stood behind the glass above the pool, waiting for the test to either fail or succeed. But to her, the result will be the same._

_“No, no, no, please, don’t.” Aby begs, shivering. “I – I can’t swim, I can’t…”_

_She is crying now but it makes no difference._

_There is a push in between a shoulder blade and then, the sudden and violent embrace of water._

_It is freezing. Heavy and all around her._

_There is no way out but up._

_The weight around her ankle drags her down no matter how hard she swims to get to the top and break free from this hell._

_She ends up at the bottom of the pool like a sunken ship._

_Abby can no longer se the men who stand behind the glass, smoking, but she bets they are nodding, exchanging notes and data while she is there, doomed to everlasting suffering._

_The water fills in her lungs and little by little, Abby looses a bit of her mind._

_She screams at the top of her lungs and cries as she drowns._

_She screams and cries but she never dies._

Abby woke up with a start and immediately started screaming and kicking the covers.

Tears flooded her face. She was drowning again.

Without pause, Loki pulled her against him, taking away her hands from her face she was beginning to scratch.

“Hey – hey, it’s me.” Loki said, avoiding a slap and a punch. 

He acted fast, with care and efficiency to secure her and prevent her from harming herself.

Loki wrapped her in a blanket and pulled her gently against him.

“You’re OK.” he whispered. “You are fine, love. Just – just breathe.”

Her harrowing wailing destroyed him a little more each time.

“Look at me. Love? Look at me. You've got this, ok? That’s it.” he said with encouragement. “You’re doing great. Breathe. Yes. That’s it.”

She was trembling like a leaf. Her body aching from head to toe, as if she were covered in bruises instead of the warm blanket Loki had put on her. 

She kept on breathing in and out, slowly as Loki showed her, but it was not enough. She did not want the blanket, she wanted him to hold her and tell her she was OK because when he told her she was, she believed him. Against all odds and her prejudices, she believed him.

Abby sunk frontward, springing her arms around his neck, squeezing him too tight.

Loki held her nonetheless. 

“You’re OK, love.” he said, planting a kiss on the top of her head. “You've got this.”

She hung to the beating of his heart, to his soothing words.

“I’ve got you, love. You've got this and I’ve got you.” he promised her, tears in his eyes.

Loki rocked her softly, stroking her hair as he repeated over and over again, “I’ve got you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I swear the infamous Billy Russo is coming in next chapter but I had to have those two work through some of their issues before.
> 
> -W


End file.
